


3 A.M at Denny's

by Raven6229



Category: Original Work
Genre: Denny's, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 02:07:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11347653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven6229/pseuds/Raven6229
Summary: A fight breaks out over Snowsheba's latest chapter. At three A.M. In a Denny's parking lot.





	3 A.M at Denny's

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Snowsheba](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snowsheba/gifts).
  * Inspired by [thanks, dad. love, hana](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7328341) by [Snowsheba](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snowsheba/pseuds/Snowsheba). 
  * Inspired by [so it shall remain](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11334519) by [Snowsheba](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snowsheba/pseuds/Snowsheba). 



3 A.M. at Denny’s

The first thing noteworthy was the building. It looked like any standard food joint. There were windows every few feet on the large building, with a purple overhanging roof offering shade to protect the brightly painted entrance from the severe seventy-degree weather and harsh elements of light drizzle overhead. A distant wave of thunder rumbled gently, reminiscent of a kitten’s purr. The clouds overhead covered the moon, leaving the flickering streetlights as the primary source of light, though the dim glow of the irritatingly asymmetrical Denny’s sign and headlights of cars ahead casted their own shades of light upon the deserted parking lot. The wind hummed dramatically, just enough to make a woman’s hair whip by her in such a way that would appear as though it would cause a multitude of horrible tangles if it was a few inches longer.

The woman’s hair is short and black, slightly shielded from the wind thanks to the deep gray hoodie she sported. A pair of cat ears of matching were sewn onto the top, something that would lead to accusations of being a furry or neko were it not for current circumstances. She was short in stature, though had the face of someone of college age. And she was ready to throw down in this Denny’s parking lot. Or, more specifically, be thrown down.

She went by many names. Four, to be exact, one of which is known only to her. To some, she was K3ySm4sh. To others, she was Senpai. Right now, she is Snowsheba. Her eyes held a certain cruelty to them unbeknownst to even those such as Hitler or that one child on the playground that sits on the slide without ever actually going down it for fifteen minutes despite your pleads. This was the glare of an author. Cold, savoring the pain of her readers as they unleashed their agonized cries at all the cliffhangers, totally content with her violation of the eighth amendment.

Her ~~minion~~ ally next to her wore a captain’s hat for some inexplicable reason. He sported a thin goatee and a blue button-down shirt. This was one of the few survivors of Snowsheba’s latest torment. This was NemoTheSurvivor.

Two figures and three cats watched from the sidelines, their appearances hidden in the darkness, appearing to be mere visages of gray with black sunglasses. They had been dubbed the anon-squad. One held a plate of pancakes, head down as they stared at the plate, slowly cutting and eating the comfort food carefully drowned in enough syrup to give a lesser human diabetes. Their cats remained close to them, with their cold and calculating gazes, like a lion staring down a gazelle. Snowsheba was the gazelle. The other figure was shivering, on hand moving to their face every few seconds to wipe away fresh tears from the devastation they had endured recently.

Their opponents entered the parking lot slowly, footsteps echoing overdramatically as they approached. One figure was fairly young, a female still too young to vote, yet her stature was that of someone confident and needing to be feared. She wore red shirt with a yellow star taking up most of the space, reminiscent of Steven Universe. Her eyes were wide and excited, likely due to a direct injection of coffee into her bloodstream, if someone were to guess. This was the legend that birthed the Bonnie the St. Bernard meme. This was MotherDolorosa.

Her combat partner was male, with messy, black, anime-protagonist hair, and a dead expression that made it clear he was very much so not on a dose of coffee. Ian-Noble was his name, though such a title would quickly piss off some of the stereotypical bigot knights from the latest entry in the _Fire Emblem_ series, _Shadows of Valentia,_ since he appeared to be of less-than knightly origins given his casual shirt that read “Here, have a medal for **almost.** ” Underneath the text was a silver, metallic image of a silver medal with a number two on it.

“So, Snowsheba. We meet at last,” Dolorosa commented, her voice cold yet also eager, anger boiling underneath it.

“It appears we do, though, a Denny’s parking lot isn’t exactly the setting I had in mind for meeting my fans.”

“Do not make light of this situation!” Ian snapped, glaring. “You have committed an evil deed with that chapter, and now you must pay! Prepare yourself for battle!”

Snowsheba sighed, tucking her hands into her hoodie pockets, her fingers closing around her weapon of choice. Nemo tensed, laying his hand on the hilt of a silver and green blade sheathed on his back. Ian grabbed his nunchucks from the side of his belt, snapping them together and forming a long, red staff. A pink gem suddenly noticeable under Dolorosa’s shirt began to glow a vibrant pink, and she pulled out a large shield from it, preparing for combat.

The cats nearby began to wail, cheering for the opposers and jeering for Snowsheba’s downfall.

Nemo screamed, unsheathing the sword and dashing forward in a bright green blur as a dragon appeared to sprout from the blade, stretching out to attack their opponents with a mighty roar that the few people driving on the road nearby were blissfully unbothered by. Ian shrieked as well, lunging to the side and conjuring a two glowing duplicates of himself. They jumped into the air, one using the power of cartoon physics to spin the other around in a circled, launching him at the dragon. The clone made of energy landed on top of the magical dragon, grabbing its horns and steering it towards Snowsheba with a roar of triumph. In the background, “From Shadows” can faintly be heard playing in the background during the Ian clone’s ride to victory.

Ian ducks below the quick swipe of Nemo’s blade, rolling to the side and sweeping Nemo’s legs out from under him, who backflips back up somehow before being nailed in the gut by a staff.

Meanwhile, Snowsheba pulls out her weapon. A small die. A d38 from Dungeons Dungeons and More Dungeons, to be specific. She yells in a way not at all similar to a Digimon using an attack “Dexterity save!” as the green dragon is steered back towards her. She throws down the die as it bumps around on the pavement, finally settling on a thirty as she somersaults out of the way, grabbing the die off the ground in the process. She lurches back to her feet, jumping upward, somehow over the dragon as she tackles to clone off the dragon, which disintegrated into nothing. The dragon continues to arch and fly away, likely to be forgotten until it hits a wayward airplane or something.

Dolorosa jumps twenty feet into the air, frisbee-ing the pink shield towards Snow, who throws down the die again. “Athletics check!” The die plinks around, somehow before the shield can reach her, landing on a ten as the frisbee nails snow in the stomach, making her topple to the ground in pain as she gropes for the die. “Constitution save…” she mutters, winded. It stumbles around. A twenty-eight. Snow jumps to her feet with renewed vigor. She rolls another die from her pocket. “Acrobatics check!” The die lands on a thirty-seven. With the battle cry of Stanley Pines when taking a bet, she grabs the shield and throws it into the air, jumping and landing on said shield, twisting into a backflip and launching herself up to Dolorosa, landing on her shoulders before locking her legs around her neck, twisting the poor teen and flipping her over, causing her to fly into the wall of the restaurant, leaving a Dolorosa-shaped indention as the _Gravity Falls_ theme song plays in the background.

Nemo’s blade disappeared using some magic that really doesn’t need explaining as a metal harness now glows on his chest with two pistols in his hands. He laughs merrily, darting and blinking fast than is easy to track. Ian grunts and suddenly grabs a rapier with a weird spinny-thing on the hilt that somehow looks like the buttons on those stupid pens that have multiple colors to them. Several glowing white glyphs appear in the ground in the path Ian runs. The two dart around faster than Sonic on steroids, backflipping and dodge-rolling each other’s attacks. Ian makes a charge towards Nemo, feigning to the right and jabbing the blade into Nemo’s arm, piercing it entirely.

Nemo giggles, coating himself in the blue glow from the harness as he moves in reverse, the wound mending itself. “Ever get that feeling of deja vú?” he asks cheekily, unloading a clip of the pistols into Ian, who grunts as a few catch him off guard.

Ian roars, grabbing his red and black scythe. “Justice will be swift! Justice will be painful! It will be **delicious!** ” In a flurry of rose petals, he jumps into the air, morphing the scythe into a rifle as he mid-air no-scopes Nemo with an electric shot, making him writhe for several seconds before he is suddenly wearing a suit of blue armor. He rockets into the air, hovering above Ian, who is preparing to land.

“I think you have that off! Justice rains from above!” Rocket missiles explode from his armor, launching themselves towards Ian and creating collateral damage nobody here plans on paying for.

Ian smirks and disappears as soon as the missiles hit, somehow appearing behind the rocketing man as he uses his grappling hook gun swords to swing around a lamp post and plant his foot firmly in Nemo’s helmet.

Meanwhile, Snowsheba shouted, “Grappling hook!” as she threw down another die, smirking as it hit a higher number. The hook lodged itself at the roof of Denny’s, and Snowsheba pulled herself to the roof, grabbing another die.

“Well, I’m stronger than you!” Dolorosa grunted, launching up to meet Snow as two burgundy gauntlets formed on her hands. The music seems to shift to fit her words as Snow ducks out of the way of several punches. “I’m Dolorosa, back together! And I’m never going down at the hands of the likes of you because I’m so much better! And every part of me is saying go get her! I’m not ever gonna follow your rules! Come at me without any of your fancy tools! Let’s go, me and you! Let’s go! Bid the world adieú!”

Snowsheba threw down a die, grimacing as she rolled a three and promptly took a fist full of gauntlet to the face. She went flying backwards and off the building, throwing down another die as she fell. “Acrobatics check!” She rolls a twelve and haphazardly hits the ground, clutching her ankle after the awkward landing.

Nemo gasped and ran over to help Snow, using a glowing pair of wings to fly over with his Caduceus staff glowing a warm yellow as it washes over Snow, healing her. Seeing the advantage, Ian rides over to Neon with roller skates and a rainbow trailing him as he uses elemental nunchucks to completely freeze Nemo in a block of ice.

Snow screeches. “I cast Lightning!” Suddenly, a die falls on the ground from Ian’s pocket, landing on seven. Snow smirks as lightning streaks from her fingertips, piercing his body. Ian smiles, suddenly holding a giant silver and pink hammer.

Nemo defrosts, wearing a heavy jacket and sporting a blaster of some sort an icicle shoots from it, though Ian seems undisturbed as he jumps in the air, Dolorosa, still on the roof, using a purple whip to grapple Ian’s arm and spin him around and launch him towards Nemo. The ground quakes as Nemo’s hammer, rocket firing from his back, intercepts Ian’s as the two titans clash. Dolorosa front flips elegantly off the building, using a spear to shoot a laser at Snow, who somehow has time to roll and dodge out of the way.

Snow smirks. “I cast Enlarge/Reduce on Nemo!” Suddenly Nemo is twelve feet tall as he bellows a laugh, summoning a giant pink MEKA as he fires at Ian, who uses a red shield to protect himself and uses his polarity, coating the MEKA in black and sending it flying backwards.

Nemo activates the thrusters and manages to overpower Ian, ramming into him. Ian screams, unleashing his polarity in a panic and nearly forces the MEKA into pieces.

“Nerf this!” Nemo shouts, jumping out of the mech. Ian’s pupils dilate in fear. Snowsheba breaks concentration as Nemo shrinks abruptly. Before he can run away, Ian uses his spear it pin him to the wall as the Mech begins to glow, spark, and splinter.

Snow throws down a die, rolling a thirty-three as she somehow manages to dodge the explosion. Dolorosa used water wings and flew relatively out of the way of the blast, though still being clipped by it. Nemo manages to get unstuck from the wall, using his sound gun with a roar of “Oh let’s break it down!” as sound somehow manages to coat and protect him from the majority of the blast.

“No!” Snow screams as she runs to Nemo, who is still limp and burnt on the wall. “Nemo!? Nemo! This isn’t anime! I watch a lot of that, and I think I’d know if it was!”

Nemo coughs, struggling to hit feet. “Don’t worry, I’m fine… and you’d be surprised at what this is,” he assures, coughing. Suddenly, purple coats him and he vanishes.

Snow nods as though he is still looking and turns to her attacker, who had covered himself with a layer of metal for protection. The metal exploded outward, pieces of metal clipping Snow’s arm after a less-than-satisfying roll.

Dolorosa suddenly has limb enhancers on her arms and legs, robotic attachments to her body as she prepares a laser. “Take this, Clod!” she screams, before the laser abruptly backfires as the once green lights on the suit turn a deep purple.

“Behind you,” Nemo teases, punching Dolorosa in the face and off the building, unconscious.

“Dolorosa! NOOOOO!” Ian screeches, gauntlets appearing on his arms as his eyes glow red. The music suddenly changes to.

“Come at me! And you’ll see! I’m more than meets the eye!” “I Burn” continues to play in Ian’s fury as he uses his gauntlets to iron-man up to Nemo, who tries to put down a bubble shield, only for it to be punched right through.

He uses his Tesla Cannon, but Ian’s onslaught is furious as he somehow ignores electrocution, finally punching Nemo in the face and knocking him off the building, completely unconscious and next to Dolorosa, who was struggling up.

Fury overtook Snowsheba. She glared, slowly rolling another d38 as the world was reduced to slow-motion. It was a natural thirty-eight. The rock Gravity Falls theme started blaring.

Her eyes melded into one yellow glowing eye. She wore a yellow suit with a triangle bow tie. A black top hat appeared on her head as she floated upward. She laughs psychotically, her voice tinny and distorted. “Hmm. I think you need to pay for that,” she muses joyfully, snapping her fingers as Nemo is suddenly standing back up, disoriented but back to full health. Dolorosa and Ian both shy away in fright, afraid of the ancient power they have unleashed in this Denny’s parking lot.

The wind wailed and gravity pulled up debris, whirling it around her like Aang in his Avatar State from the finale.

Snow snaps her fingers. And suddenly binders appear in their hands. “See those? It’s all the sad scenes I have written for TDLH, complete with pictures and theme music. It includes a scene where the MEKA squad go to the cemetery for Tango, AUs where it wasn’t Tango, and those files I’ve been hiding over my original plans, all the sad scenes fully realized. Now, how would you feel like giving them a read?”

“Demon…!” Ian groaned in defeat as the Anon Squad watched from the sidelines, awed and trembling.

Snowsheba chuckled. “I’m a writer! Is that the same thing?”

“How cruel can you be?!”

“Want to read that book and find out?” Snowsheba lowered herself to the ground, her attire returning to normal, though the eye that looked like it belonged on the Illuminati triangle still glowed vividly and threateningly. “Or we can just call it quits and we can get some pancakes!” she offers in mercy, snapping her fingers as the binders disappeared and her eye returned to normal.

Dolorosa and Ian shook their heads wildly. “Uh, yeah! That sounds better! We’ll pay!” They admitted in unison, eyes awed and wary.

Snowsheba smiled cheerfully. “Okay then! That’s settled!” she said happily, back to a fairly normal state-of-mind.

The Anon Squad just gaped as Snow walked past them into the entrance of the inexplicably open restaurant, petting each of the cats behind the ears as she passed them.

Nemo shot an amused glance at Ian and Dolorosa. “This is why you don’t argue with the author,” he explained curtly, following Snow in.

Everyone ate a huge stack of pancakes with two jars of syrup, and a full container of Tums afterwards. It was a good day to start the day.

 

 


End file.
